I’ve been reflecting on this blog and my writing the past couple days. Why does my blog feel so precious to me, regardless of followers/popularity? I think we can all admit that there are very few things in life we’ll joyfully spend a ton of time on without expecting anything in return. But this blog? It feels so valuable and wholesome, like something I’m willing to go so far to develop, share, and spend hours writing for every week!
After some serious reflection, I’ve figured out what makes writing so special to me.
Writing Heals Me
Writing gives me a creative outlet, where possibilities seem endless and my innermost struggles can reveal themselves. I’m able to tap into my deeply held beliefs, long-standing assumptions, and subconscious fears that influence every single one of my thoughts and actions. Writing allows me to explicitly identify what I feel, from both subjective and objective standpoints, and to work through my emotions to gain sight of the bigger picture. Writing is my therapist; I can walk through solutions, restructure my thoughts and beliefs, and deal with confusing emotions in a healthy way. Put simply, I heal through my writing.
Writing also helps me organize my otherwise chaotic thoughts. I’m able to focus on one thing – the task at hand (writing) – instead of being bombarded and then distracted by 100 thoughts and stimuli around me! My brain tends to hop from task to task, memory to memory, thought to thought, and before I know it, hours have passed with me feeling like I lost out on precious time living in the moment. Writing prevents that by anchoring me to a moment in time, to a single thought train. Writing stops time for me. And honestly, when my mind is calmed, my body follows. You might say that if writing is my cheaper therapist, it’s also my anti-anxiety medication!
Vulnerability & Strength
So much vulnerability and truth can come from our words, and through that vulnerability and honesty comes strength and confidence.
I have no interest in painting the prettiest picture that others can hope for but not relate to. In this space you get the good, the bad, the ugly, the sad, the weakness, my faltering, self-doubting truth, and the liberation that comes from recognizing and standing up to it all. I don’t write to tell a pretty story; I write to free myself from what society tells me needs to stay hidden and suppressed. And through this honesty, I’m able to connect with people who struggle staying afloat in the same waters. In my opinion, not one person on this earth is exempt from them. Every human can relate to at least one thing in this blog, and the variety of my visitors lends support to that theory.
Did you know I’ve had blog visitors from Italy, China, Denmark, Nigeria, Russia, Columbia, Australia, Thailand, and more? Its’ incredible! That breadth of audience allows me to relate to men & women, middle-aged adults & teenagers, corporate professionals and stay-at-home parents, Christians and atheists, Americans and Thais – literally every kind of human. Because the thing is, it doesn’t matter who you are or what you label yourself as: the deepest human emotions are universal. They transcend language, nationality, gender, race, socioeconomic status, and all other socially-recognized and geographical barriers. Regardless of our differences, we all experience happiness, sadness, fear, hunger, tiredness, loneliness, heartbreak, and self-doubt.
Think about it. Do you wade in waters of self-disgust because your ex-boyfriend told you you’ll never be able to do better than the abusive relationship you were in with him? Maybe your dad grew increasingly absent after your parents’ divorce, so abandonment and insecurity is the beat you march to every day. Listen, your circumstances may be unique to you, but the basic human emotion is not.
Chasing My Passion
Writing for this blog makes me feel like I’m actually chasing my dream of writing for a living. Like, I’m actually sharing my thoughts with the world, which 7 months ago, TERRIFIED me. I don’t think I was scared of failing, because how could I fail at writing a blog? If I stick with it, there’s no such thing as failure. If I ultimately decide after a while that it’s not for me and I don’t want to continue on with it, then I gained a lot during the process: I learned about building a website, promoting a product/service/content, that there’s confidence in vulnerability, and that I can overcome a fear and GROW! So no, I wasn’t scared of failing.
Do you know what did terrify me, though? I was scared of people knowing my hand – reading about my fears, insecurities, and dreams – and then believing I’m a fraud who can’t see that I don’t have what it takes. I was scared of people seeing me as a failure.
Something I’ve always struggled with, and will always have to fight against, is the belief that others’ views of my worth and ability determine my worth and ability. At best, that’s silly, and at worst, soul-crushing, destructive, and demeaning. If the world’s most renowned and successful author told me I don’t have what it takes, it wouldn’t matter. Truly, it would mean nothing. That world-renowned author? They’re a human, and humans are wrong all the time. They don’t see everything I’ve experienced, the passion I have to learn, grow, and reach my goals, nor do they know the plans God has for my life. They aren’t psychic, and I know that no one has the power to derail or guarantee my success except for ME and GOD.
What I have to repeatedly tell myself is that unbelief from other people doesn’t disqualify me from success. That means that I don’t have to fear others perceiving me as a failure! With every published blog post, I feel closer and closer to reaching my ultimate dream: publishing books! I know that my writing CAN be how I earn a living and live out my dreams. I know that my writing WILL be how I earn a living and live out my dreams!
So, friends, come on this journey with me! Learn with me, cry with me, dance weird with me, be scared with me, find happiness and utter peace with me, fight back against limiting beliefs with me! I’ll share what can otherwise be a very lonely place: my mind. You’ll get to know me, get to know your mind, and maybe you, too, will begin writing to free yourself from the chaos that fills your spirit!