I’m a people-pleaser, and at times it can be quite debilitating. I 100% prefer to inconvenience myself rather than other people.
I was laying in bed last night wondering why. Why are most women I know like this? Why are we afraid to say no, stick up for ourselves, and prioritize our own needs?
I think it’s because we’re afraid to take up space in the world. Stick with me here…
We’re afraid to make a mistake, to be wrong.
We’re afraid to correct someone because we don’t want them to feel bad or to come off as harsh.
We’re afraid to tell someone what we want, need, or prefer because we don’t want THEM to be inconvenienced.
We’re afraid to accept a compliment because we fear coming off as conceited, self-centered, or even delusional.
We’re afraid to share our opinions, emotions, decisions, and dreams in fear of being ridiculed.
Let’s pause for just a second. Have you ever heard of Imposter Syndrome? It’s a collection of feelings (anxiety, fear, intimidation) that result from feeling undeserving of accomplishments, success, attention, and certain titles. Imposter Syndrome causes you to feel like you’ve accomplished what you have because of luck or by mistake, not talent or skill. While not an official diagnosis, psychologists say that it was first recognized in women (although both men and women suffer from it).
We feel like imposters, and not just in our careers.
We doubt that we deserve what we have. We hide from praise and recognition for what we do and who we are. We’re afraid to be seen – to take up space.
But ladies, you deserve to be here on this Earth. You deserve to stand tall. You deserve to pursue happiness, to make decisions that benefit you, to speak up.
Don’t be afraid of how people will perceive you. (That’s not your business anyway, and truthfully, regardless of what you do or what the reality is, people will see you as they want to see you.)
Don’t be afraid of being too bold, being too loud, being too goofy, too energetic, too sure, too driven, too emotional, too ANYTHING.
Don’t be afraid to be immovable, bold, unapologetically yourself, and steadfast.
Don’t be afraid to take up space in this world.
Be calm and sure of your importance and value, and refuse to move so someone else can pass through. Claim your spot in this world. Take up for your space. Own it, and the world fill follow.